What am I insecure about for this IWSG post? Getting old.
Getting old is supposed to happen to other people, not ME. Except it is happening to me. I can tell by looking at my driver’s license and my scale. It’s tough to look in the mirror and see more and more lines.
The thing is, I actually like most of what comes with getting older. I have a lot of life experience, so I can easily spot a potentially troublesome co-worker or problem parent. I can tell when I’m getting into a situation I’ve gotten out of before. I know what’s important and what isn’t, so I don’t waste a lot of time anymore worrying about things that don’t matter (like whether or not students like me.) Plus, I don’t feel the need to keep up with pop culture religiously. And I have a lot of great stories to tell.
But on the down side, I get tired earlier in the evening, and what used to sound fun and exciting now sounds… annoying. My goals have become lamer, like trying to achieve a really great, tricked-out laundry room. My feet tend to feel sore first thing in the morning. And the best present I can think of is getting to sleep in.
I guess I also don’t like what the aging process is doing to my appearance. At the same time, I’m not willing to do anything drastic about it (like surgery) because people who do that look stretched and weird. I’d rather look a little sad than freakish.
I really never planned to live as long as I have. Odd, right? It's not that I really want to be young again. It's that I want to have the energy I used to have, and the optimisim. I can't say that I've become cynical - maybe I'm more accepting, or resigned? That sounds marginally better.
This came up because students were talking to me about things they hope to do after they graduate. One said she wanted to complete a major hike. I said I'd always wanted to do that as well, and another student said, "But Ms. Marlowe, you're too old to do that now!"
Thanks, kid. I did make sure he understood that he was not too young to say that without getting sent to the office.