Ever feel like you're running out of ideas and motivation and energy and uh... other stuff? Maybe it's just me.
It's bad enough that I missed posting on IWSG day last month. Despite the multiple reminders I put on my calendar, phone, and to-do list, the day went by without the thought even crossing my mind. Is this the sign of advancing dementia? If so, that would actually be a comfort. At least then I can be assured that my failure to follow through isn't completely my fault.
For some reason I find myself dragging this school year, not just with my students and grading and giving feedback, but in my writing as well. Ideas don't seem to be forming, and when something weird or funny happens at school, rather than writing it down, I just think, "Huh!" That's about the extent of my effort. I tell myself that I'm waiting for inspiration to hit, but maybe I'm just ducking as she swings at me. I can't say that I'm busier than before because I'm not. I'm just lazier, maybe? Or more tired?
One of my teacher friends said this shows I'm looking forward to retirement. I'm not sure about that. I don't think that not having to work means that I'll have more time or energy. This summer I had more free time than ever, and I accomplished even less. Maybe I could blame my husband and his desire to have us "run" another race as the reason for my loss of energy and enthusiasm.
I'm not just feeling insecure about my waning motivation; now I'm beginning to worry. I plan to do something about it immediately. First, though, I'll take a nap.